Sometimes we just need to remember WHAT the Rules of Life really are…
1.Never give yourself a haircut after
2.You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape.
doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40.
If it moves and shouldn’t, use the
3.The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship
“I apologize” and “You are right.”
4.Everyone seems normal until you
get to know them.
5.When you make a mistake, make amends immediately.
easier to eat crow while it’s still warm.
6.The best advice that your mother
ever gave you was.
“Go! You might meet somebody!”
7. If he/she says that
you are too good for him/her–believe them.
8. Learn to pick your battles;
ask yourself, ‘Will this matter one year from now?
How about one month? One
week? One day?’
9. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
10. If you woke up
breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
11. Living well really
is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship
just might mean that the other person was right about you.
12. Work is good,
but it’s not that important.
13. Be really nice to your friends. You never
know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.