A Little Humor for Your Life – Need Excuses for Work? Pick One, lol!

I cant come into work today because my leg is stuck in the drain outside of my house, and the rescue team haven’t arrived yet to get it out.
I cant come to work because I lost the house keys I’m locked in.
Dave can’t come to work today because, I, his other personality has taken over and I dont work.
It is against my religion to work on Mondays and Wednesdays.
I  have amnesia, who r u? ………work?…………..I work?
I’d love to come to work today, but I got on the wrong train and I’m now in Edinburgh.
I’m just about to reach enlightenment, so I cant possibly come to work because it will disturb my practices.
I cant come to work because the aliens are coming tonight and I’m baking cakes to give to them as peace offerings.
I’m not coming to work today….. “why not?” ……. because….. I’m not
I  cant come to work because they are after me!!…………. “who?……………. Ahhhhhhhh(hear shouting and bangs) ………”hello?……………??”
My friend can’t come into work today because I knocked him out.
I saved so much money by switching to Geico I don’t have to work today
I’m sorry but my eyes are just in bad shape right now. I just cant see myself going into work today.
Sorry boss I cant go to work today because my car keys grew legs of their own and ran off!
Sorry I cannot take the job, When I was but a youngster a wise man told that there are two days a year that if you work you will surely die. I was so young that I forgot to ask what those two days were and now because of fear I cannot work any day of the year.
I can’t(grunt) come in to (grunt) work today, I HAVE (grunt) EXPLOSIVE DIARREA!!!!!!
I’m not sure when I’ll be in to work…I am in the shower and the shampoo bottle says to, “Lather, Rinse, Repeat.” I might be here for a loooong time.
I can’t come into work today, I have anal glacoma. What? I can’t see my butt coming into work!!!
I dont have my work clothes so I wouldnt be coming in today
I’ll be late for work today becuase I was on my way to the car, and see it was hot out so I decided I needed to take a break.
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Car Protection/Blessing

Car Protection/Blessing 

Before leaving on a trip, create a protective sachet for your car. Add the following to an orange pouch or cloth – one Tiger’s Eye, a pinch of Sage, a Silver Coin and three pieces of Galangal Root. Empower your pouch with protective energy, and tie it with a red ribbon. You can also anoint it with Protection Oil.

Place in your car for protection against thieves, accidents and danger.

Well I would say “Happy, Happy Tuesday” but it real wasn’t……..

Funny & Naughty Comments & Graphics
 Good morning, afternoon, night???? If I don’t write quickly it will be Wednesday in about 30 minutes, lol! Well I didn’t run off, I just had some things I had to do and they took all day.

 

 First off, my husband’s work truck has needed low beam highlights for I don’t know how long. He got on his high horse Monday, “you’ve got to call and get them fixed, you’ve got too!” Well I called yesterday and found a place out here in the sticks that could fix them either yesterday or today. Yesterday it poured down rain and it was so dreary, I didn’t want to mess with it. So this morning when I got up, five minutes later, here he came, “you going to get the truck fixed today?” The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. His truck and he can’t take it and get it fixed. To keep the peace, I said I would take it and get it fixed. I think he wants me to take it because I was practically born in a garage and he figures we won’t get screwed. Well me and Kiki loaded up in the truck and off we went. The regular place I take the place and get all the work done on the truck was closed. So I found this new place to get the work done. Well I pulled up in front of it and liked to have died. The garage looked like my cousin’s garage before I went to work there. Dirty, nasty, awful, I think that pretty well describes it. We walked in the office area and I swear I thought I had walked into the twilight zone. The mechanic was eating lunch, so we sit down and had a nice long chat. I made the mistake of telling him I use to run the office at a garage. We got to talking about timing chains, timing belts, motors, starters, transmissions and every other car part there is. What should have taken 30 minutes turned into two hours. Poor little Kiki was given out. She curled up in a chair and finally went to sleep. I found out the garage hasn’t been that busy recently and I guess they were just happy to have someone to talk too. I know when I got ready to leave he offered me a job. I just sort of laughed and said I had retired. I done been through that mess of taking a junkyard and turning it into a decent business. No thank you, never again! 

 

Next, I had to drive 50 miles to go get my prescriptions. Our insurance has recently changed and I was in for a fantastic surprise when I pulled up. I owed more than triple what I usually pay. Then there was one prescription that the insurance company decided I didn’t need to take the way the doctor had ordered me to take it. Then there was another, why heck fire I didn’t even need that one! I was dumbfounded to say the least. Since when does an insurance company know how to doctor a person. What is the world coming too? Needless to say, I put that insurance company on my to do list when I got home. 

 

Then when I finally got home, calmed down and ate, I decided I wanted to get on the internet. Well to put an end to such a wonderful day, the internet was down. They were putting in new wiring. When we had the ice storm a few years ago, all the above ground lines snapped. So all the utilities have been trying to run everything underground now. Today just happened to be my lucky day, they were running the line underground. So I said the heck with it and sit down and fumed. 

 

But all in all, it was a very lovely day, not! It was drizzling rain and my ears are killing me and my throat is swelled up and killing me. In other words, I will be back at the doctor’s office to get an antibiotic for this crap. Which mean, I will have another fight with the insurance company because they probably won’t pay for crap. It is wonderful how this little mouse maze we call life runs. 

 

But I wanted to let you know that I haven’t run off. I just took a leisurely day off, lmao! I would have much rather been home, in my nice warm house, rain-free, playing on the internet. I can’t think of any adventures I have to do Wednesday, so things will get back to normal. 

 

So please forgive me for not doing the daily posts as I was out having a ball, lol! I will see you Wednesday!

 

 Have a great night and sweet dreams,

Lady A  

 

~Magickal Graphics~